Basketball Parents

Since my officiating season has come to a close (barring an unforeseen circumstance in which I would pick up another game or two), I thought I would write a little about the experience of year 2. All I can say is that everything went great on the court, but there is one thing that is really more annoying than anything at games, and that is the parents who try and coac their kids from the stands and think they know the rules.

I want to make a few things clear right away before I get into the meat of this. First, I am sure that I don't make every single call in every game I do, it's almost impossible for any official to see everything that occurs on the floor. My partner (John) and I have been told by almost every coach we've had this season that a) we did a great job or b) that was the best reffing job they had all season, so I know we do a good job, but like I said, I'm sure we do miss calls. Second, if a fan sees a missed call, and knows the rules, and knows that it should be called a certain way, they should yell. Third and last, I know fans are going to yell, I knew this going in, and I know they will continue to, the yelling doesn't bother me, ignorance does.

That being said, there are a few things that really do get on my nerves.

The worst parents by far are middle school parents. For whatever reason, they are the most vocal in terms of trying to influence the game with making comments about what is happening on the floor instead of by cheering. And girls' parents are usually worse than boys'. I can understand the boys parents being upset and trying to have their kid get all of the calls becuase they are still holding onto the hope that he will be a professional athlete, or even a star high school athlete. Girls parents are so vocal because I think the games are so unorganized that the parents feel like they need to yell about everything happening on the court to make it more interesting, and they may even hold onto hope about the star athlete thing as well. Believe me, I've seen enough basketball at all levels over the past 10 years of my life that I know good players when I see them, even at the ages of 12-14. In all of the middle and high school basketball I have watched over the past years, I have only seen 5 players who I thought were going to be something at whatever the next level may be. Parents need to understand the fact that no matter how good their son or daughter is on their middle school team, there is a 90% chance that someone is better. Take it from me, I was the best player on my team by far, and I barely played varsity ball in high school (although I was backing up the 2-time player of the year in the conference, so there wasn't much room to play).

Because so many parents think that their kid is "the next coming" they will try and coach their child from the stands. Look, tell your kid whatever you wantat home, teach them how to play the game at a young age (if they want to learn*) and let the coach do his or her job and coach the kids to get them better and ready to play at the next level if they wish. I have heard many times a coach trying to get his players to get into their offense while the parents are screaming at their kids to "go down low!" or "stay up top!" this just doesn't work. The kids need to know that there is one voice they need to listen to out on the court, and the parents should be there just to support their child and the coach. What's interesting is that the best teams I have seen rarely have the parents yelling anything at anyone, they just sit there and cheer for their child, and groan if something goes bad, they don't start screaming at the players or officials. By the way, for the most part, the coaches of these grade school teams understand what kind of offense the local high school teams run and are generally under instruction from these coaches to teach the systems they run, the parents don't know the systems, so should just stay out of the way.

* Another thing about middle/grade school basketball is that many times the kid is out there because the parents want him/her to play, not the child themselves. This leads to the parents being more into the game than the players, so they are more apt to scream at anything that happens.

Back to this; parents need to be parents and be there for support, not to undermine what the coach is doing or trying to teach the players.

It's bad enough when parents try and and coach their kids from the sideline, but it's even worse when they try and officiate. Coaches at the grade school level are bad enough (which is why most of them are grade school coaches), but the parents are even worse. I really wish each tournament would hand out rules books just so parents would know what was going on. I would say that 85% of the coaches don't know many of the basic rules such as what constitutes being closely gaurded, or even traveling, but about 98% of the parents don't know the rules, and it gets pretty annoying. Like I said, I knew going in there would be yelling, but when it occurs at the middle school level and the parents don't even know what they are talking about, is when it gets really annoying. It seems that on every single play, some parent thinks their child was wronged. For example, just because there is contact on a play, or someone hits the ground, it doesn't automatically mean that there was a violation. And with parents yelling at the referees all game, what does that teach? Well, it teaches their kids that they can yell at the refs whenever they feel like a call didn't go their way as well. John and I handed out 4 technical fouls to 2 different players on the same team in 3 different games we had with them, and 3 of them were to the same player. Where does he learn this behavior? Probably from his parents in the stands yelling at us for not calling over the back or something like that. Ignorance of the rules leads to parents thinking they know what violation should be called and screaming what they think is right. Apparently the only three rules parents "know" is the three second violation, over the back, and traveling. Before any parent is allowed to be at a game, all coaches should have them ref a game and take a test on the rules (it wouldn't hurt the middle school coaches to do this either), because then they may have some sense of what is going on.

Basically, the point of this is to tell parents they need to stay out of the game, they should support the team,and their child. They should be allowed to voice displeasure with calls when appropriate, but not go overboard and scream at every whistle. For the most parent, officials make 98% of the right calls in any game. Coaches are supposed to coach, officials are supposed to officiate, and parents are supposed to cheer. Great officials are supposed to go through the game without even being noticed, great fans should be noticed, but for their positivity, not their negativity or coaching. Parents need to learn how to be fans and let go. Granted, sports are generally the first time in their child's life when they are "choosing" to do something on their own and the parents have to sit back and let someone else teach their child, but they need to understand the coach's job is a lot easier when the parents let him/her coach.

-Until next time...